I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize