i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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