is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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