I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Two words: blizzard sex
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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