I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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