He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
