What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
When are your genitals available?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize