new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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