Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
