Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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