where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Porn is love you can see.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
