Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
