redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize