What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize