oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
