your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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