No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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