I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
