There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
