he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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