We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
