I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
there is puke in my bra ... again
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
