yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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