bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
