Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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