I should be sponsored by Trojan
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
