Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
