The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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