:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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