good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
