i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
