forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
