I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Also, beer. Big fan.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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