Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
