I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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