You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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