You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
birth control should be required to get into college
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
