Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
