Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize