My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
