wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
