We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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