if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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