Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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