I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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