Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
