Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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