Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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