Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
