You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize