i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
