shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Pooping to opera.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
