That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
