You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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