I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
They took my balls.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
