It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
A+ Viking dick
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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