I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
