She's JV to your varsity
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
