I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
