Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
