I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
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