you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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