So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Randomize