it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
