i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize