So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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