There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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