a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
