Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
