You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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