her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
