: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize