East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It was confusing and full of hummus
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
