I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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