glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
