My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Actions speak louder than pants.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
