PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
