Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize