I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
