What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
