I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
