shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
