Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
