Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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